14.9.07
Roller coasters and olive stones... just another normal day
I think sometimes this whole oh my god am Ireally doing this anxiety hits and I wonder if I can possibly forget to breathe....
As I said to mum... having a baby is nothing big nor is it clever... with this in mind I'm trying to tone down the concept as much as possible but as I said, sometimes it boils up and I feel the same feeling that you have when you are strapped into a roller coaster and you push off and begin the acent to the top of the first hill... you can feel the anxiety mixed with the horror that you know that nothing you can do can get you off the ride... the first big drop kicks your adrenalin in and then your anxiety subsides as your mind quickly gives in as it accepts there is no turning back so best just hang on... I think my life is pretty much along these same tracks right now... the only thing is that the whole strapping ones self into the ride kind of sneaks up behind me and before I know it anxiety is already pushing me up the hill...
on a not so philosophical note I forced my office colleagues into sharing a decadent bar of dark chocolate with me this afternoon. It was fig and caramel filled. Totally divine.
I'm off to repent at the swimming pool as soon as I finish. I think making it there twice in one week kicks the ass of me not having gone once during the last four months... Swimming is so odd now. My belly feels like a big olive with a massive stone in the middle. Centre of gravity is all messed up.
Would someone kindly explain to me how a mobile on the orange network in the uk is not compatible with my orange sim card here in Spain? I think the mobile phone gods are simply out to torment me. I should know better... every September I enter the realm of phone nightmares... back to this again!!!! I have to get the bloody handset that I just bought and had shipped over from the UK unlocked to make it work here... you think that surely in this day in age the same company would make handsets that were compatible across their European network??? clearly not. Hello phone unlocking hell... sarah here!
I think sometimes this whole oh my god am Ireally doing this anxiety hits and I wonder if I can possibly forget to breathe....
As I said to mum... having a baby is nothing big nor is it clever... with this in mind I'm trying to tone down the concept as much as possible but as I said, sometimes it boils up and I feel the same feeling that you have when you are strapped into a roller coaster and you push off and begin the acent to the top of the first hill... you can feel the anxiety mixed with the horror that you know that nothing you can do can get you off the ride... the first big drop kicks your adrenalin in and then your anxiety subsides as your mind quickly gives in as it accepts there is no turning back so best just hang on... I think my life is pretty much along these same tracks right now... the only thing is that the whole strapping ones self into the ride kind of sneaks up behind me and before I know it anxiety is already pushing me up the hill...
on a not so philosophical note I forced my office colleagues into sharing a decadent bar of dark chocolate with me this afternoon. It was fig and caramel filled. Totally divine.
I'm off to repent at the swimming pool as soon as I finish. I think making it there twice in one week kicks the ass of me not having gone once during the last four months... Swimming is so odd now. My belly feels like a big olive with a massive stone in the middle. Centre of gravity is all messed up.
Would someone kindly explain to me how a mobile on the orange network in the uk is not compatible with my orange sim card here in Spain? I think the mobile phone gods are simply out to torment me. I should know better... every September I enter the realm of phone nightmares... back to this again!!!! I have to get the bloody handset that I just bought and had shipped over from the UK unlocked to make it work here... you think that surely in this day in age the same company would make handsets that were compatible across their European network??? clearly not. Hello phone unlocking hell... sarah here!
10.9.07
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